I'm graduating! :D

It's been so long since I blogged. I have so much to share but just don't have the time to blog bout it! But this is something I really want to share and instead of emailing one by one or repeating my story again and again, I decided to blog so all can read. :)

I finally got my final results yesterday. It would determine whether I would be able to graduate together with all my other batch mates. It was scary. I know, I should trust and have faith in God, that I only need to do my best, and He'd do the rest, even though my best isn't enough. But there were times when I became too 'overconfident'/'trust God too much'..that when I expected to pass, I failed. And I was miserable. I felt let down by God. I didn't understand why God allowed me to be 'assured by Him', but yet, failed me in the end. Since then, I was afraid to 'trust God'. The thought of failing is terrible. I would have to resit the paper (a harder paper..a lonely journey, a torture). And I would only have bout a week to study for the resit - not enough! Besides, there's just too much to study. I can't do it. The thought of it made me give up! Then, I'd fail my resit, and get held back in uni for another year, meaning I would only graduate next year. I couldn't imagine me going thru that.

Recently, I've been very much encouraged by my church members. Seeing God working daily, made being a Christian interesting. Gone were the days when everyday was mundane. I feel so unworthy that God still loves me and shows it even when I don't spend time with Him. Inspires me to take my relationship with God to the next level as it's been stagnant for quite a while now. Just recently I decided to learn to trust God - the next level of trust. Wasn't easy. But I already see God working. He's not only blessing me with the ability to trust and let go, He's blessing me with opportunities too. That's when my faith is put to the test.

1 after another, opportunities came - to trust and rely on God. And 1 of it, was for my results. I didn't know exactly what to do. I didn't want to assume I'd pass/fail. Instead, I practiced what I learnt - to pray, to present my request to God, to focus on my relationship with Him, and relationship with His people..the rest, He'd settle. It wasn't easy.

There's this thing bout God and I. EVERYTHING that comes to my mind, it won't happen. He tends to surprise me all the time. You see, I think a lot. So I tend to imagine how things would be. And since I was a kid, every time I thought bout how it'd be, it would NEVER be. So before getting my results, I imagined how things would be.

1. I'm gonna take my results, open it, and find out I passed and I'd be so filled with joy and humility yada yada. Like what happened before..

Then I thought..now, that's definitely not gonna happen since I thought bout it. So I thought..oh no.

2. I'm gonna open my results, I failed. Then I'd be so miserable, I can't imagine.

Now, that's not gonna happen too. Then I thought. Then, how would things be since I can't think of anything else? True enough, none of that happened. Instead of going to the office to get our results on Friday (which is the norm ever since year 1), we were told to gather in the lecture hall. Instead of us going to the results, the results came to us. Instead of releasing the results 1 by 1, our associate dean announced it. How's that possible? Well..he only needed to say it in 1 sentence. 'You ALL passed'. AH! The class let out a scream. That was the main thing we needed to know. And that's to everyone's surprise too cuz, never in history, the whole batch passed in the 1st try! I..was stunned. There's just something bout God..He never fail to amaze me.

Then later I found out why the whole class passed. Cuz someone prayed for it. Someone new to the faith. I mean, who would pray for such a thing? It's impossible! But God was right. We need only to have a lil faith, and ask. If it is according to His will, it would happen. She was so filled with joy bout what happened, as she was talking to a friend and I, she couldn't help but to show her excitement, joy, and tears. Overjoyed - was what described her. Witnessing how God is working in her life touched me. I was speechless. I could only smile. I almost teared seeing how joyful she is now. I thank God for working in her and bringing her to Himself.

So here it is, an end to my degree. 4 years being in B107 (batch), IMU (uni). This batch is like no other. The unity, the people. The amount of politics is surprisingly, low. There's no division. There's no war. Even the lecturers exceptionally like this batch. I'm proud to be in this batch. B107 - would leave a mark in IMU and in each one of us, I believe.

I thank God for the many answers to my prayers. For granting me great friends, a journey that left me in awe. 1 that He never failed to leave me alone. Through it all, He brought me. Words can't really express how things are right now. It was basically, a truly happy ending, for all. And this, was how it should be.. :)

I would like to say thank you to..

- My church members - Jennifer, Billie, Yoke Kheng, Jessica, Laura, Jason, Uncle Hok Seng, Aunty Chooi Kuan, Benson, Phye Aun, Ming Han, Jia Ling etc, for supporting me in prayer and for the encouragement. It was what made the difference!

- Elaine - For all those late nights studying together, supporting each other thru each exam, with comfort, encouragement and prayers. What would I do without you?!

- Grace, Natalie, Jasmine, Elyn, Sin Yee - for being my girls' gang! Uni is fun because of yall! JJGENES yo! Thanks for having me to be part of yall. Thanks for the support, the sharing, for yall. <3

- Benson - for the never ending, never failing support, encouragement, prayers, and love. Thanks for persevering with me, tolerating my unstable emotions and temper, for always being there, especially when I needed you most. Thank you for cheering me on, believing in me, accompanying me to study. Thank you for you.. :) *Hugs you!* Thanks for hugging me too! :)

- Uncle Piang Kian - for supporting me in prayer and being concerned! :)

- Evelyn Chen, Alex Yu and Cindy Lee - for never failing to wish me all the best every exam. For continuously supporting me in prayer. It meant a lot to me. It was always nice to hear from you!

- My family - mum, dad, Jov, Jess - for praying. For not making noise when I needed to study. For everything, really. Every single thing. I'd feel silly listing them down here..like, thanks for not asking me to do the dishes, bla bla bla. haha! <3 <3

- Everyone else who supported/helped me in any way possible whose name was not listed here.. I truly appreciate it! Would be great if you reveal yourself cuz it's encouraging to know.. :)

- And of course, God. Without Him, I wouldn't be here in the first place. I wouldn't have made it thru. Who blessed me with the people around me who helped me thru, who was my source of love, joy, peace, comfort, guidance, encouragement, wisdom, understanding, strength, and everything I needed.

I'm finally..graduating! :)